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09/20/2008: "Get Over It"

A few weeks ago he told me he missed the hugging and cuddling so I made an effort to touch him again. It's been as though my mind wouldn't let my body feel anything for him. The last time, when he let me believe he was dying of cancer for four months, I held him in my arms everyday and night, while we both cried and cried, but then his conscience actually got to him and he confessed that he was adddicted to heroin again and not dying of cancer. That's all I could think about since his prognosis so I've been feeling that it's his karma that finally took his life. He's just done too many things too forgive.
Now that he's gone I just need to get over it because if I dwell on it anymore I'm just making myself sick thinking about it all. "Let's All Dance" and think about the future, not the past.