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04/12/2009: "Finally!!!"

I thought I'd never get to 145 lbs. I checked the scale 4 days aog and I needed to lose one more pound to get to 145 so when I checked again this morning I'd already passed it and was down to 143 with my long johns on. It took way longer than I was hoping for but I guess I needed to do some soul searching before I could go any further.
I've accepted the fact that I'm not the one who needs to provide for my grown children. It's been my life's goal to make a bundle of money so I could pay off all our mortgages so we could be free to pursue all our dreams. Once I finally opened my eyes I realized they are all doing very well taking care of themselves. They are all happy and it's not up to me to save them from this screwed up world.
I've had this desire to live in the rock house on my daughter and son-in-law's property in my old age but ever since learning that they were putting his mother into a manufactured home by the horse arena, I haven't stopped thinking about moving there also.
I tried comparing my self with Oprah but when I put the photos of where I wanted to live and her summer home in Santa Barbara, there's really nothing to compare. I still had my heart set on the rock house, with a lot of help from Ty or Nate to magically make it liveable until my son-in-law said he wanted to finish the apartment in the barn, then trade a guy his rent for care-taking the place while they would be free to go places and know the place is taken care of. BINGO!! That's my job. I could be very happy to live in the barn for the rest of my life. I've imagined my self scooping poop daily instead of weekly. I also think his mom and I could get along real good and that we could be great friends. I'd really like to get her doing a daily dance. How about let's all dance!